I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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