I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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