She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
