i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
