another moral hangover. fuck.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize