I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
