There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
