It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
