oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize