I'm drive I can fine osifer
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
