I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
