No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Everything about him screamed your future.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
