just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
