I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
