I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
