Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
