sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
