Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
