She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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