how hairy? two words: wookie tits
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
