i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize