just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
