Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
