fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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