I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
