The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
