I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
