so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
