So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
