My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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