Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
