i would punch a child for taco bell
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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