Heybabeimwearingurpanties
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think a kid would responsible me up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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