dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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