OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
