mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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