I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
