I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
