she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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