Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
