I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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