Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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