Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
