i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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