Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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