1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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