how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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