I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
