im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
