I'm drive I can fine osifer
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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