chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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