Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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