We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize