you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
