69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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