I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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