She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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