Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
