Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
