Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
