Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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