Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
