This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i believe in u and ur pee
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
