you guys were way drunker than both of me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
